THE SMILE FOR TODAY...
.What are three words a married woman hates to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
..A drunk was in front of a Judge. The Judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."
...A man takes his wife, on their 50th anniversary, back to the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon. She says, "Darling, the last time we were here you did not give me a chance to take my stockings off." He says, "Now you have enough time to knit yourself a pair."
....South Florida has over a half million senior citizens, if your laid them down end to end they could't get up.
.....When I was born, I was so ugly, that the doctor slapped my mother. In fact I was so ugly, my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I was so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who came in the wallet.